The Cheese Man


There is a man who comes into work every couple of days. I refer to him as the cheese man. He always gets cheese, hence the name Cheese Man.

Every time that he gets cheese he asks for the biggest piece. I’m sorry but when my cooks cut the slices they have the cutting board marked on how to cut the slices so that they are always the same size. And sir, I know how often you come in and I know that you would like the biggest slice that we have. So when you come in, I look at the slices and eyeball it to make sure that you are getting the biggest slice that I have. Just to keep you happy because this is service with a smile. Now, I am only doing that because I am nice.

But, the thought of one day telling my cooks to cut one slice in half and serve you that half slice. Would be one of the happiest moments that we would ever have together, for me at least. You would probably be pissed off with your tiny slice of cheese.


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