Cheap Dates


I get super bored when I work during the day. The drivers are on call and only come in when we get a delivery . That takes away a lot of my entertainment I get during the day. I have grown comfortable talking to everyone and anyone who comes in. I love my older men who come in every week for a slice and read a book or talk with me while I work. Then I have a lady who is tickled pink that I always remember that she gets a sausage slice a drink and fries. I only remember because she gets a ton of food. But the men are always the most fun.

There was a landscaping company that would come in every friday for lunch during the summer. One day, a guy left me his number on the back of a slice card. I found myself wondering if he grew balls that day to leave his number? Or worse, had he been waiting until his slice card was full so he could get his free slice and leave his number. That is a pretty cheap move on his part. “Oh, this girl is super cute. I should leave her my number. But I should wait until I can get my free slice and put my number on the back! I don’t want to lose out on a deal”.

If I texted him and went on a date with him, where would he take me? Sam’s Club and Costco on Saturday afternoon for the free samples?



Constant Complainers


I can tell within seconds if a customer is going to be a total bitch on the phone. They feel the need to fight with me over everything. I try my best to be nice and give them everything that they want. There are just a few things that I have no control over

Once again, there is nothing I can do about the price. I will be the first to say that our pizza is outrageously expensive. For an 18″ pizza its 17.99 plus toppings. Two pizzas will cost over 40 dollars with delivery.

Don’t put in your order then demand a coupon for what you are buying. I am not allowed to give out whatever kind of coupons I want. I do get into trouble giving you guys the discount. Now I am not saying that I wont help you with coupons that you have, in your hand, at that moment, not a coupon that you saw three months ago. Tell me what coupons you have and I will tell you what one gives you the best deal.

Everyday at work

It is January, in Chicago. I know that our parking lot is never plowed. I have complained to my boss about this everyday. I make the drivers, mainly my ex boyfriend, shovel the front every time it snows. We are on your side about this! The drivers are driving around on ice behind the store, the sun never hits behind there and it is just a disaster waiting to happen. I drive a Pruis, and I drift on a half an inch of snow. I am the first one to say that I want it plowed.

If I am telling the truth, only one person complained about the parking lot not being plowed. The drivers and I are complaining about it.



Reward Points


We have a new rewards system at work. You enter in the persons email address then each time they order something they earn points and after so many points they can use those to get free food.

It’s a good program and it is beneficial to both the store and the customer. My complaint is that my boss is constantly asking me how we are doing getting email addresses then saying that we are not getting enough.

I don’t like to ask customers for their email the first time they order because I feel it’s too forward of me to ask for their number, address, and email. I sound like a stalker. So I leave it open and ask the next time they call.

Because my boss is standing behind me watching everything I do, I sometimes have to ask the new customers. Then I have to defend myself that in fact I am not a stalker and my boss is making me do this.

I also come across some crazy email addresses. Some are really weird like colbylovesbones which is obviously about his dog, I hope. Or obvious ones like golfer92 most people have some version of their name. But there is always someone who is laughing while I’m typing it in…

He Needs to Grow a Pair


There is a man, Sam, who has been calling weekly, sometimes twice a week for over a year now. He lives on Wilderness Ridge and we all have a crazy story about him. He is very particular about what he wants. First of all, he leaves a check or money in an envelope taped to the door. He doesn’t want to drivers to go to the door because then his dog barks and it wakes up his kid. The drivers then have to move a potted plant that is on a table to set the pizza on. We used to put it on a bench but that would make the cheese slide on the pizza.

He complains more with the new owners. Once he said that the old cooks knew exactly how he liked it cooked, a little well done, and that they did it right every time. Then he went on to say how the new cooks can’t get it right. We have the same cooks as before.

Over the past couple weeks all of the employees have been sharing their experiences with Sam at Wilderness Ridge and we have come to the conclusion that he is in a different mood if it is a girl who answers the phone compared to a guy. When either the other counter girl answers the phone or myself answers the phone he is more likely to call back and complain. He also yells at us if we mess something up. Then if it is a man who answers he is patients and chit chats with him, even when it takes 10 minutes for the counter guy to get the order right.

Then one day my boss answered his call and was going through the order and noticed how Sam’s wife was in the background screaming at Sam. Everything that Sam ordered she told him that wasn’t it or how he sucks at placing orders on the phone. She was completly bitching at Sam! Now we know why he is nicer to men than women. It is like when he hears my voice he thinks I’m just going to start bitching at him. He has been craving for a male friend for years!

Working with a Boyfriend to an Ex-Boyfriend


Back in 2011 I started dating my long time best friend. He was the love of my life and all that I cared about for over a year. While we were dating I was working a lot and he was doing nothing but sitting on his ass all day, playing video games and watching Cops all day. I begged and begged for him to get a job. After a couple of months I had had enough. I had the bright idea of letting him be a driver at work. It was awesome at first but then it all went wrong and depressing. We broke up back in May and it has been hell ever since. Now I am begging him to quit and he wont leave!

Now my family and friends started telling me how you should never date someone who you work with. Where was this bit of information when I was 19, young, and naive?

This is just some of the stuff that I had done to my ex and he had done to me. Hell hath no furry like a redheaded scorned.

1. 19-20 year old men are complete idiots. How could you expect me to not get upset when you bring your new girlfriend to ride along on deliveries with you… a week after we broke up! Oh, and I noticed the hickeys all over your neck.

2. The first couple weeks after we broke up I spent the majority of my time sabotaging him. I know it was immature and I should be the better person, but it was fun.

3. It was a little awkward when one of the factory workers that we used to talk to, mainly the two of them talked about trucks and NASCAR. Completely ignored him after the factory worker witnessed my reaction when my ex’s new girlfriend came into work with him. Now he comes in to see how I’m doing.

4. One time, actually this was last Friday, I was called to come into work earlier. When I walked into the restaurant he was eating lunch with his new girlfriend! At least I looked fabulous with my curled hair and a little sweater on, she looked like she hadn’t showered in a month. It gets worse though, he had to go on a delivery while she was still eating her lunch. This was during the slowest time of the day at the store. It was just me and her, so awkward. I ended up being really nice to her, which kind of surprised me.

5. I know that this is wrong, and inappropriate and immature but remember I am 20, going through my first break up with my best friend since sophomore year at high school. Back in July I changed my cousins name on my phone to a 28 year old bartender who I happened to meet at the bar. When my phone kept blowing up all night and he totally looked and asked questions of who it was, It was a great feeling.

6. Now that the weather has cooled down and it is not 105° in the store I love doing my hair again. To me, doing my hair is the one thing that I can control in my life. Plus, I finally figured out how to curl my hair and not look like Medusa. Then one day, he touched my curl ever so lightly. He was kind of behind me so I didn’t actually see it but I felt it. I had no idea what was happening, I thought I was imagining it so I put it out of my mind. Then the next week he did it again! Right in front of me. When I was getting ready for work this weekend I decided to straighten it so that he wouldn’t touch it. I hadn’t been at work for a full 20 minutes when he told me that “Your hair looks really pretty today”. Apparently I can’t do anything with my hair that doesn’t give you a total boner. Thanks for making me want to go back to sabotaging you.

On the bright side we have been getting along better than ever and I have started to return to the rational thinking woman that I have always been. One little hick-up isn’t that big of a deal. I am ashamed to admit some of these things, but it is the truth. And it is pretty funny what a woman is capable after she has been scorned.

Bottle of Wine, Ice Cream, and Chocolate


I came back from my break and my boss asked me if I had been crying. I am a little embarrassed to admit it but I was tearing up. I was planning that after work I wanted to go to Redbox and get War Horse and have myself a good crying night. Even just thinking about the movie makes me cry, it’s my new Titanic or The Notebook.

I got home and started setting up for the movie when I realized that I needed to have popcorn. Of course I was completely out. I have a slight obsession for popcorn, it is never too early in the day for popcorn.

I was standing in line for at least 10 minutes. I was patiently waiting for the people ahead of me, the lady was filling out some information on the computer. The headlines on the trashy magazines about Tom Cruise being devastated and how did Katie finally decided to go secret spy to get out?

I already wanted a night to cry so these magazines were just screaming for me to buy them. If the line would have been quick I wouldn’t be standing there debating on buying it. I knew I didn’t have the money but then I started debating on using my credit card. I listened to my inside voice and resisted the urge. Then I thought well I’m here, I could just flip through the pages. As I was thinking this my common sense kicked in and I knew that if I did that I would buy all of them.

I looked behind me and there is a woman, maybe in her mid 30s, holding a bottle of wine and a pint of ice cream. I know what she was planning for tonight. I turned to her and said “This isn’t fair, the trashy magazines are out calling to me” She laughed and and said to me that she was thinking the same thing.

The line finally moved and she turns to me and says “Now all I want to do is buy Chocolate” This is me in 15 years.

Running into People from High School


I graduated high school in January of 2010. That’s right, over achiever here. Only one semester in junior year I had an off campus lunch period. It was awesome. I went out with my friends to Panera or Jimmy Johns, by the end of the week I was running out of money so we would slum it down from our tasty sandwiches and would get a slice of pizza. It was a pretty awesome deal, it was a huge slice and a drink for $3.75.

As most stories go you are probably realizing that I work for them now. The building has already had 4 name changes so I don’t think of it so much as the place that I went to in high school. I think that makes it a little easier because it kept memories separate.

Most kids that I graduated with went to big colleges and aren’t really here for most of the year but now that it is summer I have been seeing a lot of older and forgotten faces. Anyone can think of someone who they didn’t like in high school or a group of people who you didn’t really care to hang out with but you always knew each other’s names.

The other day a boy that I went to high school came in. He never talked to me in school, ever. If I am being completely honest I was a little intimated by him, he was this bad boy who got into trouble and was easy on the eyes. When he was ordering his slice I was making small conversation and then he left me a 3 dollar tip. People never leave tips so it always surprises me. Plus, I heard that he had a bad coke problem before so I’m not really sure how he had 3 dollars. oops.

There are some people from high school who I completely ignore. The type of kid in school who was nice but you never really had an interest in them and we did our own thing and never really talked. I don’t know if it is because I really didn’t like them in high school or I think that they thought that I was a huge loser in school. It could be because I am embarrassed that they went to a cool college and I decided to save money.

Ehh… I just ignore them because I probably just de friended them off of Facebook because I realized I didn’t care about what they ate for breakfast last Tuesday.